I can't believe it's 2012 already. This past year flew by in an absolute blur – settling in to our new home; taking care of Robin and watching her grow from a tiny, sleepy newborn to a rambunctious, busy toddler; and launching my photography business. My days were segmented between running after Robin and trying to keep our home in order, and then scrambling to get onto the computer as soon as she was down for a nap or had gone to bed for the night. Photo sessions were often scheduled for the weekend when Kyle was home or an occasional babysitter was used during the week. On the one hand it was great because it meant I was never bored or lonely. But on the other hand, I often felt like I was just struggling to keep my head above the water (I hate to use a cliche expression, but it really is the best way I can think of to describe it). I was drowning, sitting at my desk with hours of editing in front of me, heaps of laundry waiting to be folded (for anyone who's been down to our basement this year, you know the large laundry mountains I'm talking about), and my own personal projects completely untouched (scrapbooking? photo books? – a distant memory). The constant guilt of not giving enough time to my daughter, the constant worry of whether my work is good enough. But then, I receive an email from a client telling me how happy they are, or a birth announcement arrives in the mail, or someone tells me that they are following my blog. And I realize that there are people out there who actually appreciate my work! Who actually want to hire me!
I look around our home where so many of my favourite photos of my own family are displayed and I feel so much nostalgia and joy. I love my photos and I cherish them more than any other possession. This is what inspires me, what keeps me going. I want to give other people the same feeling of joy and nostalgia when they look at their photos and think back to that time in their life. When you look at a photo, it's not only the good you remember, but the hard times too. We didn't realize it at the time, but those moments were shaping us, taking us to where we are today. That's what life is about.
So as 2012 kicks off, I'm feeling very grateful to those people who took a chance and hired a disheveled mom on maternity leave, struggling to launch a business. You invited me into your world – your homes, conversations, cuddles and hugs, so I could capture a few hours of your beautiful life for you, and I'm honoured.
And another note on the kickoff of 2012... January is "getting it done" month for me. Closets and drawers are being organized, and so are my business processes. Things are being streamlined! And by early Spring, Robin will be a in daycare a few days a week and I will be focused and ready for a great year. My head will not only be above the water – I'll be swimming :-) Happy New Year. xo